much deep contradiction soul. deep longing God – deep painful – a suff — Brian Kolodiejchuk, Mother Teresa: Come Light: Private Writings “Saint Calcutta”
There is so much deep contradiction in my soul. Such deep longing for God – so deep that it is painful – a suffering continual – and yet not wanted by God – repulsed – empty – no faith – no love – no zeal. Souls hold no attraction – Heaven means nothing – to me it looks like an empty place – the thought of it means nothing to me and yet this torturing longing for God. Pray for me please that I keep smiling at Him in spite of everything. For I am only His – so He has every right over me. I am perfectly happy to be nobody even to God. . . .Your devoted child in J.C.M. Teresa
