three things absolutely certain. First, Edwart likely soul mate, maybe — Harvard Lampoon, Nightlight: A Parody

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About three things I was absolutely certain. First, Edwart was most likely my soul mate, maybe. Second, there was a vampire part of him — which I assumed was wildly out of his control — that wanted me dead. And third, I unconditionally, irrevocably, impenetrably, heterogeneously, gynecologically, and disreputably wished he has kissed me.

The Harvard Lampoon, Nightlight: A Parody

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