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rather a bottle front a frontal lobotomy. — Dorothy Parker

Dorothy Parker
Topics: drinking, humor, misattributed

don’t remember born, happened one black outs. — Jim Morrison

Jim Morrison
Topics: birth, humor

Pulling chair me, invited sit. stood wondering sprint nearest exit. St — Colleen Houck, Tiger’s Curse

Colleen Houck Tiger's Curse
Topics: humor, kelsey, love

a meeting Command. Disregard current schedule,’ says. ‘Done,’ say.’Did — Suzanne Collins, Mockingjay

Mockingjay Suzanne Collins
Topics: humor

don’t mind foreigners. God save queen!” squeaked ran. — Jeaniene Frost, Halfway Grave

Halfway to the Grave Jeaniene Frost
Topics: frost, humor, jeaniene

say pent-up anger like saying Britney Spears minor impulse-control iss — Molly Harper

Molly Harper
Topics: anger, humor

Revenge sweet fattening. — Alfred Hitchcock

Alfred Hitchcock
Topics: humor, revenge, sweet

again, thwarted massive difference vision successful currently stuck w — Lauren Graham, Someday, Someday,

Lauren Graham Maybe Someday
Topics: humor

bullshit, folks bad ya. — George Carlin

George Carlin
Topics: humor

Housework won’t kill you, again, take chance? — Phyllis Diller

Phyllis Diller
Topics: housework, humor

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